Rackets and Real Feelings. Part II

In Part I, I have detailed how people who indulge in Rackets have experienced, in childhood, prohibitions about certain feeling and perceptions, but permission for others.

Rackets are stylized repetitions of “permitted feelings” which were stroked in the past. They are expressed each time a real feeling (of a different category) is about to surface.

The substitution operates because the individual has trained himself to be not aware of certain formerly prohibited feelings or perceptions. The racket ventilates emotion, although it presents a different type of emotion than the one being felt. I call this the “substitution factor” of rackets; this is why rackets are so tenacious in spite of confrontation. Yet the racket dissolves when the patient becomes aware of the real (other) feelings or perceptions he is suppressing in the present.

Often a racket is also the overt manifestation of a Script injunction.

Developmentally, a Racket is often the precursor of a Game. Ventilation through substitute feelings (i.e., a racket) is a structural procedure of the individual who carries the racket. When he becomes skillful in Ulterior Transactions he can “hook” others into supporting his racket, offering trading stamps, or otherwise complementing it, and the racket is thereby transformed into a Game.

In many cases Script or Game analysis are not necessary when the real feelings and perceptions that the Racket substitutes for can be appropriately brought into awareness, perhaps in a series of instances. The patient may need additional help in identifying the feelings and naming them, in order to “own” them. Thereby he can learn to separate awareness from action (i.e. Child feelings from Adult supervised activity).

Had he had good parenting he would have learned this in early childhood. If he has not, the therapist’s or teacher’s ability to deal with the “substitution factor” of rackets can compensate effectively for this lack.

Real feelings and perceptions are here-and-now responses to internal or external stimuli. An authentic person can allow himself to know and accept any and all feelings that occur in his Child, whether his Parent likes them or not. His Adult can separate feeling from action; he can also choose what and when to show or to express.

Feelings and perceptions can be listed in three categories, representing a developmental sequence, as follows:

I. Basic bodily cravings related to survival, and sensual perceptions
Hunger, thirst, cold, heat, sleep and other bodily feelings (circulatory, digestive, glandular, etc.). Touch, smell, hearing, seeing, vocalizing. Stroke hunger. Eventually motor needs.
II. Reactions to having the above fulfilled or frustrated, and to other external stimuli
Such as noise, rocking, jolts, warm milk, stroking, rough handling, etc.
Examples: pleasure, comfort, pain, discomfort, hate, sadness (from loss), joyfulness, etc.
III. Later stage cravings related to drives which appear as the organism develops, and reactions to having these new cravings fulfilled or frustrated

Feelings in this category are more complex than those in the other two because their particular manifestations have differential characteristics in humans. They are interwoven with imagination and thought.

Examples: curiosity, exuberance, playfulness, aggressiveness, competitiveness, envy, sexuality, tenderness, recognition hunger, need for mental growth, for autonomy, for intimacy.

All feelings can be genuinely experienced in the present, but they can also be models for Rackets. It is helpful to develop a vocabulary to distinguish between these, and below I present some comparisons that I use. I invite the reader’s additions and modifications, since inevitably there is overlapping and there are personal connotations.

Under Column A, I name feelings as they appear in the genuine, undisguised form. In Column B, I list the caricatured forms of rackets. If you use this list for help in treatment, please remember that when you identify a racket in Column B it substitutes for feelings other than the equivalent real feeling of Column A.

The racket signifies that both rackety and real feelings of that particular grouping were permitted. It’s others, which you must seek in a different “A” grouping that were prohibited. So you’ll need your Child’s detective powers to use this list well. Good luck!

I. Real, Spontaneous Appetites and FeelingsI. Basic bodily cravings
Stroke hunger.
Physical expression (face, body and limbs). Locomotion. Perceptions (smell, touch, hearing, sight). Rage.

II. Comfort, discomfort. Contentment, joy, frustration, pain, rage (anger), fear, confusion, empty feeling (loss).
Desire and yearning, hopefulness. Self concern or awareness. Helplessness. Omnipotent feelings. Hatred (wish to destroy or eliminate).

III. Curiosity, exuberance and playfulness. (These, with imagination, can lead to creativity.)
Need to express and grow, often related to above. Also includes aggressiveness, competitiveness, envy. Anger.

Feelings related to developing need for self-identity (actualization) and autonomy.

Recognition hunger; yearning to relate; feelings related to quest for intimacy (empathy). Sadness. Genuine regret. Sorrow.

Sexuality (ranging from infantile to grown sexual urges and feelings). These sometimes overlap with stroke hunger felt physically.

Generativity. Feelings related to procreative and productive needs. Generosity. Human “OK” feelings, concern, care, sympathy, loyalty.

Existential sorrow or despair. (Awareness of the absurdity and complexity of existence). Recognition of human fallibility and the reality of Death. Love.

A real “OK” feeling with full recognition of the other. Real “I’m O.K. and you are!”
B. Rackets (Artificial Feelings Masquerading as Real)

I. Chronic dissatisfaction, restlessness, “nervousness,” disgust, irritability, exhaustion, deprivation (“I don’t need...”), overeating, vomiting, alcoholism, hypersexuality, some depressions.

II. Psychosomatic ailments, including digestive, skin and breathing troubles.
“Sweetness and light.” Sulkiness. “Hurt oversensitive.” Victim (martyr). “Waiting for Santa.” Hopelessness, persistent reassurance demands. Picking at self and others (“torture” racket).
Mourning racket (exploitative). Hostility and violence. Suicidal and homicidal threats. “Stupid dummy.” Confused. Harried. “Little boy lost.” Anxiety. (“What if...” alias: Henny Penny.)

III. Nervous inquisitiveness and questionings. “Peeping Tom.” Complaining, whining, nagging. Obsessive, earnest “busybodiness.” Gossipiness.

Pushy “one-up-manship.” Rackety “I’m OK, you’re not,” or vice-versa. (“Aren’t you lucky, I never am”). Hard luck Helga.

Rebelliousness. “I never get a break.” “Unfair!” Chip-on-the-shoulder. “Absent-minded” turning off. Violence.

Back-slapping good humoredness; “We’re all pals, ha-ha.” Over socializing. “Let’s include all.” Parties, parties! Fear of loneliness. Guilt racket. Shame. “If people knew.” Always embarrassed.
Innumerable sexual rackets, including “sexiness,” fear of rape, castration, anxiety. Sexual perversions. Excessive prudery, voyeurism, “he-man” syndrome. “Shocking.” Sexual victim.
Overprotectiveness. Excessive helpfulness. “Sweet charitableness and unselfishness.” “Devoted” (mother, wife, son, citizen, etc.). Chronic resentment; (“I’ll never forgive...”)
Suicidal and homicidal rackets. Some guilt or depression rackets. Chronic pessimism.

Destructiveness. Violence. Chronic challenging. “Death is the outcome anyway, so that proves...”
Phony trust, optimism. Projected “hope.” “Always forgive.” “How could you do this to me?” Unfeeling, banner-waving love and happiness rackets. “All you need is love, sweet love.”